“But I’m His Wife.” Why That’s Not Enough in the Eyes of the Law.

It usually starts with something simple. A husband develops dementia. His wife—who’s been handling more and more of the household tasks—calls the insurance company to ask about his policy. The rep refuses to speak with her.

Frustrated and maybe a little stunned, she asks: “Why would I need a power of attorney? I’m his wife.”

And hey—I get it. That sounds reasonable. Marriage is a legal arrangement, right? So shouldn’t it automatically come with the authority to step in and help your spouse?

Unfortunately, that’s not how the law works. And here’s why that matters.

Agency isn’t automatic—even in marriage.

In legal terms, agency means giving another person formal authority to act on your behalf. That person is called your agent (or sometimes your attorney-in-fact), and the most common way to make this happen is through a power of attorney.

Now, here’s the kicker: being married does not automatically give you agency. Being someone’s spouse, child, or best friend doesn’t mean you can legally speak for them, access their accounts, or manage their financial or healthcare decisions—unless they’ve explicitly authorized you to do so through a legal document.

A power of attorney isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.

Especially when we’re talking about aging, illness, or cognitive decline. Once someone becomes incapacitated (whether from dementia, stroke, or otherwise), it may be too late to get a power of attorney in place. If that happens, the only option might be a guardianship proceeding in court, which is expensive, public, and time-consuming.

A signed, notarized power of attorney? That’s a fraction of the cost—and it keeps your family out of court.

Being someone’s agent is a serious responsibility.

This isn’t just about convenience. A power of attorney gives real, legal authority. Your agent can enter contracts, incur debt in your name, sell your property, or make changes to your accounts and assets that could affect your estate. In other words, this is not a “just in case” checkbox. This is a powerful tool that can protect you or cause damage—depending on how it’s used.

So, if your spouse is already struggling with cognitive or physical decline, you probably don’t want to name them as your agent. That doesn’t make you a bad partner—it makes you a responsible one. It’s about preserving your safety, your finances, and your legal options if things get worse.

Here’s the bottom line:

Marriage doesn’t equal agency. If you want to be able to speak for someone else legally—whether it’s your spouse, your parent, or your neighbor—they need to give you that power ahead of time. No amount of love, commitment, or shared bank accounts can stand in for proper planning.

And if you’re already in a situation where someone you love can’t act for themselves and didn’t set up a power of attorney, it’s time to talk about your next legal steps. I’m happy to walk you through what that might look like. Contact me at 402-259-0059 or zach@zandersonlaw.com.