Let’s Talk About Cremation: What You Really Need to Know
Cremation isn’t exactly your average dinner table topic—but it should be. Because whether it’s for yourself or someone you love, deciding how you want to be cared for after death is one of those choices that’s equal parts personal, practical, and, yeah, a little emotional. And the truth is, cremation has become more and more common—not because it’s trendy, but because it can be simpler, less expensive, and more flexible than a traditional burial. That said, there’s a lot more to it than just choosing an urn and calling it good.
So let’s clear the air (pun intended) on what cremation actually involves—and what you’ll want to think through ahead of time.
First things first: What IS cremation?
Cremation is the process of reducing a body to bone fragments using intense heat. The fragments are then processed into what we refer to as “ashes.” Sounds clinical, I know—but it’s important to understand that this is a physical and legal process that still requires planning, paperwork, and consent. It’s not just a checkbox you mark when you’re gone.
Don’t skip the paperwork.
If you want cremation, WRITE IT DOWN. Put it in your will, include it in your advance directives, and make sure your loved ones know. Because here’s the tricky part—if you don’t document it and you haven’t had that conversation, someone else will be left to guess. And guess what? That someone might not be the person who would’ve honored your wishes.
And even if your will says you want to be cremated, the legal authority to make that decision doesn’t come from your will—it comes from whoever has the legal right to control final arrangements. That could be your next of kin, or it could be someone you’ve appointed in a legal document like a Health Care Power of Attorney. (And if that person can’t be found or doesn’t want to act? Things get messy real fast.)
But what if the family disagrees?
Whew. Yeah, this happens. One person wants cremation, another wants a burial and a full Catholic Mass, and suddenly everyone’s arguing in a funeral home parking lot. The best way to avoid that drama? Decide ahead of time, name someone to make decisions on your behalf, and communicate it clearly. Put it in writing. Ideally with notarized documents. Because it’s one thing to know what you want, but it’s another thing to actually make it happen when you’re no longer here to advocate for yourself.
Think about what happens after cremation, too.
Once the cremation is done, what do you want to happen next? Scattered at sea? Kept in an urn on the mantle? Divided into little memorial necklaces? There’s no wrong answer—just YOUR answer. But again, someone needs to know what you want. Because if you don’t leave instructions, your remains could end up… somewhere you didn’t exactly have in mind.
Also: cremation doesn’t mean you can’t have a service, a memorial, a visitation, or whatever kind of goodbye feels right. It’s not either/or. You can absolutely be cremated and still have a meaningful celebration of life. The flexibility here is actually a major plus—but only if people know what your wishes are.
And finally… cost matters, but so does peace of mind.
Yes, cremation tends to be less expensive than burial. No embalming, no casket, no cemetery plot unless you want one. But the biggest value might just be in how much easier it can make things for your loved ones—if you’ve done the planning up front.
So if this is the route you’re leaning toward, get your paperwork in order. Talk to your people. Appoint someone you trust. And don’t leave them guessing.
You can’t control what happens after you’re gone—but you can make it a whole lot easier for the folks you love. If you need help getting these documents in place, contact me at 402-259-0059 or zach@zandersonlaw.com.