“Wait… Am I Even Protected?” A Real Talk Guide for LGBTQ+ Families in Nebraska

You shouldn’t have to Google “Will my kids be taken away if something happens to me?” at 2am. But if you’re LGBTQ+ and living in Nebraska, you probably have. Or at least had the thought cross your mind when someone casually dropped the word “custody” at a BBQ.

Here’s the truth: while we’ve made huge progress, Nebraska law still hasn’t fully caught up to the reality of queer families. Marriage is legal, yes. But legal security? Recognition of all parents? Protection against discrimination? That’s a different story.

So whether you’re married, raising kids, building a family, or planning for what comes next—this is for you. Let’s talk about what’s actually protected under Nebraska law, what still isn’t, and what you can do to make sure your family is covered.

Marriage Equality Is the Floor, Not the Ceiling

Let’s start here: same-sex marriage has been legal in Nebraska since 2015 because of the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. That means married LGBTQ+ couples get access to the same legal benefits as everyone else—joint tax returns, inheritance rights, hospital visitation, the works.

But don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Our state constitution? Still has the old “marriage is between a man and a woman” line in it. It’s unenforceable, sure—but it’s still there, like a passive-aggressive Post-it from 2004 that no one has taken down. And some lawmakers love to remind us it’s there—using it as kindling for bills that chip away at our rights in other areas.

So yes, you’re legally married. But that’s the starting point, not the endgame—especially when it comes to your kids, your property, or what happens if the relationship ends.

Divorce Is Divorce… Until It’s Not

In theory, LGBTQ+ divorces are just like straight divorces in Nebraska. We’re a no-fault state, so no one needs to prove wrongdoing, and marital property gets divided equitably—which means fairly, not always 50/50.

But here’s where things get sticky: what counts as “marital” property? The court only looks at what was acquired during the legal marriage. So if you bought a house together in 2010 but didn’t get legally married until 2016, the equity from those six years might not count. It’s not personal—it’s just how the statute’s written. But it feels personal when you’ve built a life together and the law only recognizes part of it.

And the bigger landmine? Parenting.

If you and your partner have kids together—but only one of you is biologically related, and there’s no second-parent adoption or parentage order on file—the non-biological parent could be out of luck. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been there since day one, changed every diaper, or are on the birth certificate. Nebraska courts prioritize legal relationships, not emotional ones. That missing paperwork? It can mean losing access to your child in a divorce.

Thinking About Kids? Don’t Leave Parentage to Chance

Let’s be super clear here: in Nebraska, the person who gives birth is the legal parent. The other parent? In limbo unless there’s something official on file.

And no, being on the birth certificate doesn’t count. That feels official, but judges here have ruled again and again: it’s not the same as legal parentage. Which means if you don’t complete a second-parent adoption or get a court order affirming your parental rights, you’re legally vulnerable. That could mean no say in medical decisions. No legal claim if you separate. No protections if the unthinkable happens.

This isn’t fearmongering—it’s just how the law works right now. So if you’re building your family through donor sperm, IVF, or surrogacy? Let’s make sure both parents are protected. Because love makes a family—but paperwork protects it.

Adoption in Nebraska: Yes, You Can (And You Should)

Good news: Nebraska law does allow LGBTQ+ individuals and couples to adopt. Whether you’re single or married, you can adopt a child, including through second-parent adoption—where both parents are legally recognized without either having to give up rights.

Private or religious agencies might have their own internal policies, but legally, they can’t deny you based solely on sexual orientation or gender identity. Still, it helps to have someone in your corner who knows the system and can shut down the runaround if it shows up.

If you’re already parenting and only one of you has legal recognition? Let’s fix that. The sooner the better.

Assisted Reproduction & Surrogacy: Don’t Wing It

Nebraska law doesn’t have specific statutes around surrogacy or assisted reproduction, which means the rules are kind of a patchwork right now. Some courts recognize surrogacy agreements. Others want more. It varies by judge, by county, by circumstance.

So if you’re using a surrogate or donor—get it in writing. Work with a lawyer to draw up a proper agreement. And then, crucially, get a parentage order or second-parent adoption on file. Don’t assume your intentions or your role will be recognized later. Put it in writing, get it signed, get it stamped. Protect yourself.

Because the last thing you want is a legal gray area when it comes to your child.

Discrimination Still Happens—So Be Legally Loud

Nebraska doesn’t have a statewide law that explicitly bans discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Some cities (Lincoln, Omaha, Bellevue) have stepped up with local protections—but a patchwork isn’t a parachute.

That’s why legal prep matters. You’re not just getting ahead of potential issues—you’re putting safeguards in place for when someone doesn’t see your family the way you do. And unfortunately, whether it’s a school admin, a judge, or a hospital policy—you don’t want to leave that recognition up to chance.

You deserve dignity. The law doesn’t always hand it to us—but we can claim it anyway.

So What Can You Do Right Now?

You don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight. But if you want to be proactive, here’s where I’d start:

• If you’re parenting together, get a second-parent adoption or parentage order.

• If you’re using a donor or surrogate, put the agreement in writing and talk to a lawyer.

• If you’re divorced or co-parenting, make sure there’s a formal parenting plan.

• If your estate plan hasn’t been touched since you came out, let’s talk.

• If your family structure doesn’t fit a checkbox, all the more reason to protect it with paper.

These steps don’t just protect you legally—they protect your peace of mind. And that’s worth a lot more than a template downloaded from Google.

Your Family Deserves More Than Tolerance. It Deserves Legal Protection.

You shouldn’t have to fight to be seen as legitimate. You shouldn’t have to explain your family to people who don’t get it. And you shouldn’t have to wonder if the law will be on your side when it counts.

Let’s make sure the answer is yes. Let’s get the paperwork in place, the plans locked down, and the future protected—so you can get back to building the life you’re proud of.

If you’re ready to talk through next steps—or even if you’re not sure where to start—I’ve got you. No pressure. No judgment. Just real support for real families.

Reach out today at 402-259-0059 or zach@zandersonlaw.com, and let’s make sure Nebraska sees your family the way you do: with love, clarity, and strength.