“My Kids Will Figure It Out” — Why That’s Not a Plan
It’s something I hear a lot in estate planning conversations: “My kids are responsible. They’ll figure it out.”
And on the surface, I get why that feels reassuring. If your adult children are mature, get along, and manage their finances well, it makes sense to believe they’ll handle things smoothly when the time comes.
But here’s the thing: being capable and being prepared for high-stakes decisions—while grieving—are two very different things.
As a Nebraska estate planning attorney, I’ve worked with families across all dynamics. And I can tell you: even the most well-adjusted siblings can end up in difficult, painful, or legally complex situations when a plan isn’t clear.
Let’s walk through why relying on your kids to “figure it out” can go sideways—and what your estate plan should actually provide.
The Real Problem Isn’t Trust. It’s Lack of Direction.
Trusting your kids is a great starting point. But if your estate plan leaves out key instructions, it puts that trust under pressure—especially in a time of grief. When there’s no roadmap, even well-intentioned people end up making assumptions. That’s how you get three different versions of “Mom would’ve wanted…” and no agreement on what to do next.
A strong plan doesn’t just trust your kids—it supports them with clarity.
Your Kids Might Get Along Now. That Can Change.
Even in close families, death changes the emotional landscape. Disagreements don’t just arise over who inherits what. Some of the most common conflict points I see include:
Who decides what happens to the house or cabin?
When and how to sell a business, if applicable?
Who’s in charge of managing the trust?
Who pays taxes or distributes assets fairly?
Who handles care of a surviving parent?
These decisions often come with weight, money, memories, and expectations attached. And if you haven’t designated roles clearly, the potential for tension grows—fast.
Grief Doesn’t Bring Out Logic. It Brings Out Emotion.
You might be thinking, “My kids are adults. They’ll handle it.” And maybe they will—but not without difficulty. Because grief changes how people think, speak, and react. It magnifies stress, old wounds, and differing interpretations of “what’s fair.”
The clearer your plan is, the fewer opportunities there are for misunderstandings or emotional landmines.
A Solid Estate Plan Does More Than Divide Assets
A well-thought-out estate plan should:
Clearly name decision-makers (trustee, executor, powers of attorney)
Define how and when assets are distributed
Lay out how jointly owned property is handled
Include incapacity planning, like durable powers of attorney for finances and healthcare (which are essential under Nebraska law)
Reduce the need for probate, especially through tools like a revocable living trust, where appropriate
Planning ahead gives your family a framework—so they’re not left scrambling or second-guessing when everything already feels uncertain.
A Note on Nebraska-Specific Considerations
While the core ideas here apply anywhere, Nebraska has its own probate rules and estate planning nuances. In particular:
A revocable living trust is commonly used to avoid probate here. When properly funded, it allows assets to transfer smoothly without court oversight.
Nebraska recognizes different types of probate administration (informal, formal, supervised), which your plan can often sidestep with careful preparation.
Durable powers of attorney for both finances and healthcare are crucial for incapacity planning in Nebraska and should be kept current.
Let’s Make It Easier on Your Kids—Not Harder
You raised good people. You trust them. Let’s build a plan that honors that without placing the emotional and logistical burden entirely on their shoulders.
Estate planning isn’t just about what happens after you’re gone. It’s about making life easier for the people you care about most.
Ready to take the next step? Let’s talk about what your family needs—and how to give them clarity, not chaos.
Key Takeaways
Even responsible adult kids need a clear estate plan to avoid conflict.
Vague wishes often lead to confusion, resentment, or even legal disputes.
Grief impacts behavior—clarity reduces unnecessary emotional stress.
A good plan names decision-makers, defines asset handling, and avoids probate where possible.
In Nebraska, revocable living trusts and durable powers of attorney are key tools for protecting your wishes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need an estate plan if my kids are responsible adults?
Yes. Trusting your kids is great, but even responsible adults need structure. A clear plan helps avoid conflict, confusion, and legal complications.
Isn’t a will enough?
A will is a foundational document, but it may not cover everything—especially if you want to avoid probate, manage complex assets, or plan for incapacity. In Nebraska, a revocable living trust is often used alongside a will for more comprehensive planning.
What decisions should be included in my estate plan?
Your estate plan should designate roles (executor, trustee, power of attorney), explain how assets are to be distributed, and outline what happens to jointly owned property, real estate, businesses, or any family-specific assets.
How does Nebraska handle probate?
Nebraska has several types of probate (informal, formal, supervised), but a well-structured plan—especially with a funded trust—can often help avoid it altogether. Probate can be time-consuming and public, so many families prefer to minimize it.
What documents do I need besides a will?
Most Nebraska estate plans include:
A revocable living trust (to avoid probate)
A durable power of attorney for finances
A healthcare power of attorney (or healthcare proxy)
A HIPAA release
A living will or advance directive