What Should You Do During a High-Conflict Divorce in Nebraska?
Divorcing someone who thrives on conflict can leave you feeling like you’re constantly defending yourself—in court, over text, and sometimes even in front of your kids. If your ex is manipulative, controlling, or using the legal system to exhaust you, this isn’t just a difficult breakup. It’s a high-conflict divorce. This guide walks through smart, legally grounded strategies that can help you protect your peace, stay focused on your children, and make progress even when the other side is trying to pull you off track. Whether you’re just starting the process or already deep in court filings, you don’t have to do this alone—and you don’t have to be caught off guard.
What Is a High-Conflict Divorce?
In Nebraska, you don’t need to prove fault to get a divorce—the standard is that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” But that doesn’t mean every divorce is low-conflict.
A high-conflict divorce usually involves one party who resists resolution and thrives on chaos. This can look like:
Gaslighting and emotional manipulation
Filing constant motions or making baseless accusations
Refusing to follow court orders
Involving the children in adult issues
Attempting to control or intimidate through legal threats
These behaviors are more than just frustrating—they can impact custody, parenting time, and your mental and emotional well-being. And if you’re dealing with this, you’re not imagining it.
8 Grounded Strategies for High-Conflict Divorce in Nebraska
1. Document Everything
Nebraska courts prioritize the best interests of the child. That means a pattern of disruptive or manipulative behavior can affect custody decisions—especially if it’s well documented.
Save all texts, emails, voicemails, and social media interactions
Use co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, or AppClose
Maintain a written log of concerning behavior, missed exchanges, or inappropriate communication
Keep your own tone factual and neutral
This thorough documentation is a critical part of your Nebraska family law strategy—especially if you need to request a custody modification later based on a material change in circumstances.
2. Limit Direct Contact
You don’t need to respond to every provocation.
Stick to written communication
Avoid same-day responses to hostile messages—give yourself space
Let your attorney handle anything involving legal threats or demands
Using a communication platform with court-admissible records not only reduces conflict—it protects you.
3. Focus on Parenting, Not the Past
You can’t change your ex’s behavior, but you can decide how to show up for your kids.
Follow the parenting plan to the letter
Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent around your children
Use “kid-first” language in all communication
Don’t use the children as messengers or middlemen
If your children are struggling, therapy can help—both for them and for you.
4. Work with a Legal Team That Gets It
Not every lawyer is equipped to handle high-conflict divorce.
Choose an attorney familiar with custody battles and high-conflict behavior
Focus on enforceable parenting plans with clear boundaries and remedies
Let your attorney be your shield when things escalate
Don’t waste energy on emotional arguments—your strategy should be fact-driven
In Nebraska, clear legal documentation and proactive filings often make a bigger impact than reactive fighting.
5. Practice Emotional Detachment
This doesn’t mean you stop feeling. It means you stop reacting.
Recognize emotional manipulation for what it is—and don’t take the bait
Use grounding tools or therapy to process tough interactions
Focus on the life you’re building, not the behavior you’re escaping
You don’t win a high-conflict divorce by playing the same game. You win by walking away from it.
6. Stay One Step Ahead
Predictability is your friend—especially when the other side tries to keep things chaotic.
Prepare for key deadlines and exchanges in advance
Keep school, medical, and extracurricular info organized
Confirm plans in writing and don’t rely on verbal agreements
Being proactive limits opportunities for drama and builds your credibility in court.
7. Invest in Support Systems
This isn’t a solo mission.
Build a circle of friends, family, and professionals who support your goals
Work with a therapist who understands co-parenting with a narcissist or high-conflict dynamics
Consider a divorce coach or parenting coordinator if needed
You don’t have to justify your reality to people who already believe you.
8. Take Care of Your Body Like It’s Part of the Legal Plan
When you’re exhausted, everything gets harder—including legal strategy and parenting.
Prioritize sleep, hydration, and meals
Limit phone use after high-stress interactions
Take breaks from thinking about the divorce
Focus on daily routines that support long-term healing
Your nervous system deserves as much care as your legal case.
Nebraska-Specific Considerations
If you’re dealing with repeated violations of a parenting plan or escalating conflict, Nebraska law allows you to file:
A Motion to Enforce the parenting plan
A Complaint to Modify Custody based on a material change in circumstances
A Motion for Contempt if your ex is intentionally disobeying court orders
These filings can be strategic tools—not punishments—when used appropriately.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What does Nebraska consider a high-conflict divorce?
While there’s no legal definition, a high-conflict divorce often involves one party repeatedly creating unnecessary disputes or violating court orders. Nebraska courts focus on patterns of behavior, especially when children are involved.
Can I modify custody if my ex is high-conflict?
Yes. Nebraska law allows a custody modification if there has been a material change in circumstances and the change is in the child’s best interest. High-conflict behavior—especially if documented—can meet that standard.
What does Nebraska’s parenting plan law require?
Under the Nebraska Parenting Act, divorcing or separating parents must submit a parenting plan that outlines legal custody, parenting time, communication, and conflict resolution methods. In high-conflict cases, courts may require communication through structured tools like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents.
What should I document during a custody dispute?
Document all communication, missed exchanges, inappropriate behavior, and any actions that affect your child’s well-being. This evidence can be used in court to support a custody modification or enforcement motion.
Is therapy helpful during a high-conflict divorce?
Yes—both for adults and children. A licensed therapist can help you manage stress and develop coping strategies. For kids, therapy can provide a neutral space to process confusing or stressful family dynamics.
How do I co-parent with a narcissistic ex?
Keep communication brief, written, and focused on logistics—not emotions. Use parenting apps that create a record of all exchanges. Stick to the court-ordered parenting plan, and avoid arguments or negotiations outside of it.
If you’re dealing with a high-conflict divorce or custody situation in Nebraska, you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Ready to take the next step with confidence? Contact our office today to schedule a consultation. We’ll help you protect what matters—your kids, your peace, and your future.