Is the Law the Right Tool for Your Fight?
When people walk into a lawyer’s office, they often believe what they want is legal advice. But many times, what they’re really looking for is something different—permission to fight back. Whether it’s through filing motions, dragging out proceedings, or “sticking it to” the other side, the law can feel like a way to get revenge. But while the system is built to resolve disputes, using it as an outlet for anger or frustration can end up being the costliest and least satisfying form of therapy. The real value of legal counsel isn’t in fueling the fight—it’s in helping you choose which fights are worth having.
Yesterday’s client meeting was a textbook example. My client was angry, justifiably so, and wanted to pursue every possible motion to “teach the other side a lesson.” The case for doing so was solid—we had evidence, we had the law, and we probably would have won. But the bigger question was: what would winning actually achieve?
When emotions run high, it’s easy to overlook the true costs of turning every grievance into a legal battle. Financially, the expenses add up quickly: attorney’s fees, court filings, and months of drawn-out proceedings. Emotionally, the toll can be even heavier—sleepless nights, ongoing stress, and the feeling of being trapped in conflict long after the initial spark has faded. And strategically, pursuing every possible fight can backfire. It risks distracting from your core goals, prolonging the case, and even undermining your credibility with the court.
The truth is, the legal system is not designed to make you feel whole again. It’s designed to resolve disputes. Sometimes that resolution lines up with justice or vindication, but often, it doesn’t provide the sense of closure people are chasing. Judges and juries don’t exist to referee personal grievances. And when the law is used primarily as a tool for revenge, clients often spend more money and energy than they ever imagined, only to walk away with little more than the bitter satisfaction of “being right.”
This is where perspective matters. A good lawyer helps you step back and think about the bigger picture: What do you actually want from this case? Is the goal to punish, or is it to move forward? Could saving your resources and focusing on resolution actually put you in a stronger position for negotiation? Sometimes, the best advice isn’t how to sharpen your sword—but how to sheath it.
In the end, my client chose not to pursue the extra motions. He didn’t get the immediate gratification of striking back, but he saved thousands of dollars, avoided months of stress, and kept the case on track toward an outcome that mattered to him. That choice—though less dramatic—was the real win.
The law is a powerful tool, but it shouldn’t be mistaken for therapy. The goal is not simply to fight, but to fight wisely, and only when it moves you closer to the outcome you want.
Why Using the Law as “Revenge” Rarely Works
Legal battles framed around punishment rather than resolution tend to leave clients exhausted, poorer, and often no closer to what they wanted in the first place. Revenge-based litigation can:
Drain financial resources that would be better used for settlement, stability, or future planning.
Increase emotional stress without providing meaningful closure.
Distract from the core dispute, delaying real progress.
Damage credibility with the court if it looks like you’re using the system to settle personal scores.
A Smarter Approach to Legal Strategy
Instead of using the law as a hammer for every nail, think of it as part of a long game. Strategic use of the system means choosing battles that:
Directly serve your long-term goals.
Have a clear, practical benefit—financial, personal, or legal.
Position you for a stronger negotiation or resolution.
The role of your attorney is to help you sort through options, weigh costs and benefits, and avoid getting sidetracked by the lure of “being right” at all costs.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Is it ever worth filing a motion “just to make a point”?
Usually not. Even if you win, the cost—financially and emotionally—often outweighs the benefit. Motions should advance your actual goals, not just express frustration.
What’s the danger of using the law for revenge?
It can prolong the case, give the other side openings to retaliate, and reduce your credibility in front of the judge. More importantly, it can drain resources from what really matters in your case.
How do I know which battles are worth fighting?
The key is strategy. Ask yourself: will this step move me closer to my ultimate goal, or is it just to feel like I “won” in the moment? A good lawyer will help you sort through that.
Can walking away from a fight actually make me stronger?
Yes. Preserving your resources, maintaining credibility, and keeping focus on your real goals often makes you better positioned for negotiation and resolution.