What Should You Do If Your Co-Parent Doesn’t Follow the Holiday Parenting Plan in Nebraska?
Holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for many separated parents in Nebraska, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and winter break can trigger some of the most stressful disputes of the year. When a co-parent ignores the written parenting plan, keeps the kids for a holiday that wasn’t theirs, or refuses to follow the exchange schedule, the emotional fallout is immediate for you and confusing for your children.
Understanding Nebraska Holiday Parenting Time Disputes
Nebraska law gives you tools to respond, but how you handle the situation in the moment matters just as much as the legal strategy you choose later. Courts take holiday violations seriously, but they also expect parents to stay calm, document what happened, and avoid “self-help” retaliation. A parent who responds by withholding the children later often ends up in just as much trouble as the one who violated the order in the first place.
The starting point is always your parenting plan. In Nebraska, holiday schedules usually override the normal weekly rotation, and many orders layer in standard county holiday schedules (especially in places like Lancaster County and Douglas County) that people forget about until there’s a problem. Re-reading the exact language helps you confirm whether a violation really occurred and how clear that violation will look to a judge.
From there, your focus should be on creating a clean paper trail rather than escalating the conflict. A single, polite text or parenting-app message that quotes the schedule and confirms where and when you’ll be for pickup is often your best piece of evidence later. If the other parent still refuses to follow the plan, Nebraska Revised Statute § 42-364.15 allows you to file a motion and affidavit alleging unreasonable interference with parenting time. Judges can order make-up parenting time, award attorney’s fees, modify the plan, and, in serious or repeated cases, hold a parent in contempt.
What courts almost never do, however, is grant an emergency (ex parte) custody change just because someone missed Thanksgiving or Christmas. Emergency orders are generally reserved for safety concerns, not one-off holiday disputes. That doesn’t mean the violation doesn’t matter; it means the remedy usually comes after the fact through make-up time, enforcement, or modification, not a same-day emergency hearing on Christmas Eve.
If you’re dealing with a holiday parenting time problem, your job in the short term is to protect your child emotionally, document what happened, and keep your own conduct above reproach. Then you can sit down with a Nebraska family law attorney, review your options, and choose a strategy that protects your relationship with your kids and reduces the chances of repeating the same fight next year.
How Nebraska Parenting Plans Handle Holidays
Nebraska parenting plans usually divide major holidays with specific dates, start-and-end times, and exchange instructions. Courts expect these plans to be detailed enough to be enforced later, and they are often based on standard holiday schedules used in counties like Lancaster County or Douglas County.
Most plans follow an alternating-year format, such as one parent having Thanksgiving in even-numbered years and the other in odd-numbered years. The key point is that holiday schedules almost always override the normal weekly rotation. In other words, even if it would normally be your weekend, if this year’s Thanksgiving is assigned to the other parent, the holiday schedule controls.
If your order references a “Standard County Holiday Schedule” or attaches a separate holiday calendar, that schedule governs even if you don’t have every detail memorized. When a dispute arises, judges will look at those written terms first.
What To Do When Your Co-Parent Violates the Schedule
If you are supposed to have the children for a holiday and your co-parent will not release them, the best immediate approach is calm, methodical documentation rather than confrontation.
Start by re-reading your order so you are absolutely certain the holiday is yours and you understand the exact pickup and drop-off times. Then send one clear, polite message that references the order and confirms your plan, such as: “Per our parenting plan, I am scheduled to have the children for Thanksgiving this year. I will be at [location] at 4:00 p.m. for pickup.”
If it is safe to do so, go to the exchange location as scheduled. If the other parent does not show or refuses to comply, avoid arguing or trying to physically remove the children. Instead, note the time, save your messages, and, if possible, create a simple record such as a time-stamped photo or a note in your phone.
Courts care far more about the paper trail than about who yelled the loudest in the driveway. Keeping your cool now is one of the best ways to strengthen your position later.
Why You Should Re-Read Your Parenting Plan Before Reacting
Parents often rely on memory, especially if the plan was signed years ago. But holiday sections can be surprisingly specific: they may define “Winter Break” differently than the school calendar, include tie-breaker rules when holidays overlap weekends, or assign Christmas Eve to one parent and Christmas Day to the other.
Taking ten minutes to read the actual order can save you from an embarrassing misstep and gives you confidence when you tell a judge, “Here is what the order says, and here is what happened.” It also helps you decide whether you are dealing with a genuine violation or a misunderstanding that might be resolved with better communication.
Should You Try Direct Communication First?
In almost every case, yes. Nebraska judges expect both parents to make reasonable efforts to solve problems before they resort to motions and hearings. That does not mean you have to tolerate repeated violations, but it does mean you should be able to show that you tried to resolve the issue in a calm, child-focused way.
A good rule of thumb is to write every text or app message as if a judge might read it out loud in the courtroom. Keep it short, factual, and focused on the children’s needs, not on your feelings about your ex. “Per the plan, I am scheduled to have the children today. I will be at [location] at [time]” is far more effective than a long paragraph about how unfair or disrespectful they are.
If your co-parent responds reasonably, you may be able to work out a make-up visit or clarify expectations for next year. If they respond with hostility or simply ignore you, that behavior becomes part of the story you present to the court.
When to Consider Filing a Motion for Contempt or Enforcement
If the violation is clear, significant, and especially if it is part of a pattern, you may need the court’s help. Nebraska Revised Statute § 42-364.15 allows a parent to file a motion and affidavit alleging that the other parent has unreasonably interfered with parenting time.
If, after a hearing, the court finds that a violation occurred, the judge has wide discretion to fix the problem. Remedies can include make-up parenting time that mirrors what you missed, an award of attorney’s fees, fines, and in serious or repeated cases, contempt sanctions. Judges can also modify parts of the parenting plan itself when they conclude that the current schedule is not working or that one parent is consistently undermining it.
Parents sometimes ask whether they can get an emergency, ex parte order when they are being denied a holiday. The honest answer is that emergency orders are rarely granted for holiday disputes alone. They are typically reserved for situations involving safety risks or urgent changes in circumstances, not a single missed Thanksgiving or Christmas. That does not mean the violation is trivial, but it does mean the solution usually comes through regular enforcement or modification rather than an emergency hearing.
Can You Call the Police to Enforce Holiday Parenting Time?
This is one of the most common questions that comes up in holiday disputes. In practice, Nebraska law enforcement generally treats parenting time issues as civil matters, not criminal ones. Unless there is an immediate safety concern, officers will usually decline to physically enforce a parenting plan and will tell you to contact your attorney or the court.
A welfare check may sometimes be appropriate if you have specific reasons to worry about the children’s safety, but it is not a tool for forcing a holiday exchange. Attempting to involve the police purely to pressure your ex can escalate conflict and stress your children without actually solving the problem.
From a legal standpoint, your energy is better spent documenting the violation and pursuing enforcement through the courts, where a judge can order concrete remedies and, if necessary, impose consequences for noncompliance.
FAQ: Nebraska Holiday Parenting Time & Violations
What if my co-parent kept the kids on Thanksgiving when it was my year?
If your co-parent kept the children on a Thanksgiving that clearly belongs to you under the parenting plan, document exactly what happened, including your messages and any attempt you made to pick up the children. Then consult a Nebraska family law attorney about next steps. You may be entitled to make-up parenting time of similar length and type, and in some cases, it may be appropriate to seek attorney’s fees or contempt sanctions. What you should not do is “even the score” by withholding the children during their next scheduled visit.
What if our plan doesn’t clearly address a specific holiday?
If your plan simply says something vague like “parents will agree on holidays,” it can be very hard to enforce. In that situation, it may make sense to file a Complaint to Modify and ask the court to approve a more detailed holiday schedule. Clear language about which parent has each holiday, along with specific times and exchange locations, dramatically reduces the odds of future disputes.
Does one missed holiday justify contempt?
It depends on the facts and the judge. A single misunderstanding about a pickup time or a genuinely unavoidable problem (like a snowstorm or a medical emergency) may not rise to the level of contempt, especially if the other parent is cooperative about make-up time. But willfully withholding a child for a major holiday, especially as part of a pattern of interference, is taken seriously by Nebraska courts and can support a contempt finding, make-up time, and fees.
Can I get an emergency order if they won’t give me the kids for the holiday?
It is possible but rare. Nebraska courts generally reserve ex parte emergency orders for situations involving immediate safety risks, such as abuse, neglect, or a credible threat of removal from the state. As frustrating and painful as missing a holiday is, judges usually address those violations after the fact with enforcement and make-up time, not with same-day emergency custody changes.
How far ahead should we plan holiday schedules?
Many families find it helpful to confirm the upcoming holiday schedule at least 30 days in advance, even when the parenting plan is clear. A short email or message in a parenting app that says, “Just confirming that I have the children for Christmas Eve this year per our order,” can prevent last-minute confusion and creates a written record of your efforts to cooperate.
How Zachary W. Anderson Law Helps With Holiday Parenting Time Disputes
Holiday disputes are uniquely painful because they involve moments you cannot simply re-create. When a co-parent refuses to follow the parenting plan, you are not just losing time; you are losing traditions, memories, and the chance to show up for your kids the way you promised.
My role is to help you cut through the emotion and understand your exact rights under Nebraska law. I will review your parenting plan with you, walk through what actually happened, and help you decide whether the best move is a strongly worded letter, a negotiated solution, mediation, a Complaint to Modify, or a motion for enforcement or contempt.
The goal is not just to “win” a hearing; it is to protect your relationship with your children and reduce the odds of fighting the same battle every year. If holiday parenting time has already become a pattern of conflict, it may be time to update your plan so that next Thanksgiving or Christmas looks very different from this one.
If you’re facing a holiday parenting time dispute in Nebraska, you do not have to navigate it alone. Reaching out for advice now can protect both this year’s memories and your long-term time with your kids.