My Ex Is Unreasonable. Should I Take Them to Court in Nebraska?
When you’re in a high-conflict divorce or custody dispute, the temptation to rush to court can feel overwhelming. Your ex’s latest unreasonable behavior feels like the final straw, and you want a judge to see exactly what you’re dealing with. You want to fight for the “principle” of the matter. But here’s the hard truth from a Nebraska family law attorney: going to court to “make a point” often backfires. Judges focus on the best interests of your child—not on refereeing parental drama. The real win isn’t in a courtroom showdown; it’s in protecting your child, de-escalating conflict, and positioning yourself as the reasonable parent.
Key Takeaways for High-Conflict Co-Parenting in Nebraska
Nebraska judges make decisions under the “best interests of the child” standard. That means they look at stability, cooperation, and child welfare, not at which parent is “more right.” Constant litigation risks making you look like you’re prioritizing conflict over your child’s needs.
Documentation, not courtroom drama, is your strongest tool. A calm, consistent record of unreasonable behavior is far more persuasive than emotional arguments. Court should be used for serious issues—like safety concerns, denied parenting time, or major unilateral decisions—not every disagreement. In the eyes of the court, the parent who offers solutions, communicates calmly, and shields the child from conflict is the one acting in their best interest.
A Real-Life Example: The School Showdown
One client once called me furious. Her ex had caused a major scene at their child’s school, yelling at administrators until he was placed on “parent probation.” His solution? Pull their son out of the school immediately.
Her instinct was to rush to court and show the judge how “unhinged” he was. While that might have felt validating, it wouldn’t have helped their son. It would have dragged the child into a stressful legal process, drained finances, and likely had little effect on custody orders.
The Winning Strategy: What to Do Instead
Instead of racing to the courthouse, we built a smarter strategy. We documented the school’s reprimand letter and saved it in a file, creating an objective record of his behavior. Then we offered him three reasonable school options, including the current one. That move showed cooperation and problem-solving, not defensiveness. Most importantly, the child was shielded from the stress of litigation and continued in school without disruption.
This approach preserved evidence for the future if litigation ever becomes necessary, while protecting the child’s stability in the present.
How Nebraska Courts View Parental Conflict
Under Neb. Rev. Stat. § 43-2923, custody and parenting time decisions are based on the child’s best interests. Judges consider each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other parent, their communication skills, and their ability to reduce conflict.
A parent who runs to court over every minor disagreement risks being seen as the source of the conflict. On the other hand, a parent who documents issues, proposes reasonable solutions, and only uses court intervention when truly necessary demonstrates that their focus is on the child’s well-being.
Frequently Asked Questions
When should I take my ex to court in a Nebraska custody case?
Go to court when the issue is significant: your child’s safety is at risk, your ex is denying you parenting time in violation of a court order, or they make major unilateral decisions like moving out of state.
Will a Nebraska judge punish my ex for one bad incident?
Rarely. Judges look for a pattern of behavior that harms the child. A single outburst, while frustrating, is unlikely to change custody on its own. Your role is to document each incident to show a consistent pattern.
What’s the best way to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent?
Keep communication brief, factual, and child-focused. Many parents use the “BIFF” method—brief, informative, friendly, and firm. Stick to written communication through co-parenting apps or email whenever possible.
Your Child’s Stability Is the Real Victory
It’s natural to want justice when your ex behaves badly. But in Nebraska family law, the most effective path often avoids the courtroom. By documenting carefully, offering reasonable solutions, and keeping your child insulated from conflict, you not only strengthen your legal position—you protect your child’s peace of mind.
📞 Call: 402-259-0059
📧 Email: zach@zandersonlaw.com