Being Power of Attorney Means Playing Defense—Even With Family

When Jenna came into my office, she thought she had a good handle on what it meant to be her dad’s Power of Attorney (POA). Pay bills. Handle banking. Keep things running while his memory declined.

What she didn’t expect? Needing to play defense—against her own family.

Like many people, Jenna assumed the biggest risks would come from government programs or paperwork—Medicaid eligibility, IRS audits, or Social Security rules. But in reality, the pressure often comes from within: family members who feel entitled, suspicious, or left out. And when you’re the one holding the legal power, you become the target.

Family Conflict and the Role of a Power of Attorney

Jenna has two brothers. One lives out of state, hasn’t visited in years, but suddenly wants to know what Dad’s house is worth. The other just lost his job and says things like, “Well, I better not be cut out.”

Neither is helping. But both are watching.

So what happens when Jenna buys herself a new laptop or takes a weekend off? They assume the worst: “Must be using Dad’s money.”

Even when it’s not true.

Even when Jenna’s been paying for groceries out of her own pocket, handling the late-night ER trips, filling prescriptions, and being the only one showing up.

The reality? Inheritance expectations bring out tension. And when you hold POA, appearance matters as much as truth. Which is why I tell every Nebraska client in this situation: transparency isn’t optional—it’s your shield.

Understanding the Legal Duties of a Power of Attorney in Nebraska

Under Nebraska law, a person with Power of Attorney is considered a fiduciary. That means you must act in the best interest of the person you’re representing—typically a parent or other loved one.

What does that mean in plain English?

• No borrowing from their accounts

• No co-mingling funds

• No gifts or transfers unless the POA document explicitly allows it

• No acting beyond the scope of what the POA authorizes

And it’s not enough to follow the law. You need to be ready to prove you did—whether to your siblings, Medicaid, or a probate judge.

5 Ways to Protect Yourself as a Power of Attorney in Nebraska

1. Keep Impeccable Records

Track every dollar spent. Save receipts. Keep notes. If you’re paying your dad’s bills from his account, keep the paper trail clear and complete. If you’re acting as a Social Security representative payee, you have separate reporting requirements too—so be thorough.

2. Be Proactive, Not Reactive

Don’t wait for your siblings to ask questions. Share periodic summaries. Offer to walk through expenses or decisions once a quarter. You’re not asking for permission—you’re showing that you’re trustworthy and transparent.

3. Document What You Spend and Do

Even if you’re not allowed to pay yourself under the POA, track what you spend out of pocket and the time you put in. That way, if conflict arises, you can point to the record and say, “Here’s what I contributed.”

4. Know the Medicaid Look-Back Period

In Nebraska, Medicaid reviews the last five years of financial activity. If you transfer assets, give gifts, or move money during that period—especially as POA—it can trigger delays or penalties in qualifying for long-term care. Talk to an elder law attorney before making those moves.

5. Set Clear Expectations with the Family

Don’t assume everyone knows the limits of your role. Explain what you’re legally allowed to do—and what you’re not. Make it clear that this isn’t a free-for-all and you’re not “in charge” of the inheritance. You’re managing day-to-day decisions under specific legal authority.

Why It Matters

Being a Power of Attorney is more than signing checks. It’s carrying emotional and legal weight—often during one of the most stressful times in your family’s life.

It’s also a role that can put you in the crosshairs. The more open, consistent, and intentional you are, the easier it will be to protect both the person you love and your own peace of mind.

If you’re in Nebraska and have been named POA—or are considering who to name—this isn’t just about a legal form. It’s about doing the job well and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

Let’s set things up the right way. Contact me at 402-259-0059 or zach@zandersonlaw.com.